It’s Tough to Create Right Now

There’s a strange juxtaposition going on right now. Demand for YouTube content is skyrocketing. Everyone is at home consuming media like crazy. But many creators, myself included, are finding it harder to create right now. I have produced three videos in the last month, but honestly I could have done so much more here in isolation on my sailboat. I have a long list of cool projects to work on.

But how can we self-actualize as creators when our daily lives contain questions about our basic needs, like health and safety? I limit my consumption of the news but it’s impossible to forget what’s going on in the outside world. This is too big. We feel it in our bodies, our souls and our bank accounts.

Creating is so good for me. Time melts away and I get into a flow of images and memories. I try to convey the feelings of the moment, matching everything to music beats. I have to be sure each video feels completely right to me. I’m an amateur creator prone to endless rework on my videos, always searching for that right feeling. I never rush anything to production, because there are no deadlines.

Maybe what makes it tough to be a YouTube creator right now is “getting that right feeling” in my videos because I sometimes don’t know how I’m feeling myself. Mostly I feel good, like this is the best place for us here in French Polynesia. But I also feel uncertainty about when it will be safe, or when I will be able, to return home to the US. All passenger flights are suspended currently. The last one went out on April 13.

We have a healthy routine with exercise, mental activities (board games and learning French), good food and good sleep. These things become more important to me when extra stressers are looming. Lately I’ve been embracing structure, like always waking by 6 AM and exercising for 30-60 minutes right after waking.

Keeping a happy mental and emotional state helps me create. Although I always want to produce more, I think we all need to give ourselves a little grace, and practice self acceptance during these tough times. If I feel like laying there for hours, wasting an afternoon watching Desperate Housewives, then so be it. I mean, we are all wasting time in embarassing ways we normally wouldn’t. No need to feel any shame.

At least I produced three videos this month, and a lot of fun photos. Brian and I have made a lot of wonderful memories. I’m celebrating these small victories.

Here’s my latest quarantine creation: